Yes, we know you read this blog for the chuckles. Our most popular and funniest posts are usually the ones showcasing the wellness industry’s race to the bottom. And despite heavy competition, very few industry scams can beat corporate get-thin-quick schemes to that inexplicably coveted nadir:

• Here is Healthywage discussing its newest schemes, like “dieting for dollars” and “paying for pounds.” They also describe how to prevent “fraudulent participants,” a category presumably comprised of zombies and dead voters in Chicago.
• “In Wellness, Stupid is the New Black” shows how Healthywage can’t even read a scale.
• “Shape Up falls down trying to do math for Highmark,” about a weight-loss program so clueless that it got covered by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 
• Perhaps our favorite is Wellness Corporate Solutions. We won’t ruin the punchline for you.

In sum, we say: “To call corporate crash-dieting contests a joke is an insult to jokes.”

Unfortunately for those of you seeking a few chuckles, this is not that situation.

Quite the contrary, Rebecca Johnson has penned one of the best articles on corporate weight loss programs we’ve ever seen, so we can’t dismiss it with our usual clever if by now overexposed putdowns like: “She should have had this reviewed by a smart person before publishing it,” or “Perhaps her subscription to the internet expired.”

Instead, rarely have we seen more intelligent observations packed into a tighter space, more thoroughly sourced and clearly explained.  To summarize:

• Corporate crash-dieting contests are much more likely to harm employees than benefit them;
• They don’t produce an ROI;
• Our mothers were right. Eat a balanced diet. There are more benefits than one would think to not obsessing with what are the “best” and “worst” foods.  (Having said that, some people seem to do very well on a low-carb diet. We leave that debate to others and recommend The Big Fat Surprise to readers with an interest in that topic.)
• It is better to be fit and fat (“health at every size”) than to yo-yo diet, for sure.

She goes on to explain her particular approach to mindful eating. I myself have no expertise in that area so I can’t critique the specifics, except to say that Healthywages, ShapeUp (now Virgin Pulse), and Wellness Corporate Solutions should definitely find a smart person to explain this approach to them, even if it means having to pay for an internet connection.