They Said What?

Home » Uncategorized » Broccoli Growers Association announces 20% discount for wellness program participants

Broccoli Growers Association announces 20% discount for wellness program participants

Do you know whether heartburn pills are safe for long-term use?

As every wellness professional knows, saving money in wellness programs can only be accomplished — if at all — by getting employees to take more steps and eat more broccoli.

As far as the former is concerned, Fitbit has already undertaken initiatives to demonstrate that using its product to increase steps can play an integral role in wellness. In other words, they’ve mastered the art of blatantly fabricating outcomes.

Fitbit also offers employers significant discounts for bulk wearables purchase for wellness programs. These discounts have led to enough employer contracts for Fitbits that the Broccoli Growers Association of America (BGAA) has taken notice, and decided to follow their lead.

Specifically, the BGAA just announced a partnership with two leading organizations in wellness — the Health Enhancement Research Organization (HERO), and Safeway — to distribute 20% discount coupons for broccoli to wellness program enrollees at participating employers. Thought leaders in wellness, notably Schlumberger, have already announced they are signing up.

A spokesperson for the BGAA noted that “for years, wellness vendors have been urging employees to eat more broccoli, but until now that goal has been out of reach financially for many. We are pleased to do our part to relieve this financial hardship on employees, and help employers coax, fine, or bribe employees into adopting a more broccoli-intensive diet. This will definitely help them lose weight.”

Ron Goetzel, never one to miss out on a claim of wellness program impact, added that broccoli can be part of a smoking cessation program too. “Just keep some broccoli nearby,” he advises, “and every time you feel like a cigaret, eat a floret instead. It’s easy to do because they both end in ‘ret.’ My data shows that it’s easier to stop smoking if you remember to eat broccoli anytime the urge arises to smoke — and my data is always very well-sourced and consistent.”

The BGAA will also be providing recipes to give employees ways to vary their diet while still consuming sufficient amounts of broccoli to let wellness vendors claim savings. Broccoli can be steamed, sauteed, or eaten raw. Here is another suggestion for preparation.


 

Charley Blue, a frequent reader of these columns, is embracing this collaboration and wants to see it go farther. “I’d like the government to get behind this with some focused subsidies,” he proposed. “We could call it The New Green Deal”

 


4 Comments

  1. williammcpeck says:

    It’s about time we see some incentives for the consumption of broccoli!

    Like

  2. Mitch Collins says:

    Excellent

    Like

    • whynobodybelievesthenumbers says:

      Thing is, if you didn’t know this industry and I gave you a list of things which they did and didn’t do, you’d have a hard time figuring out which was the April Fools joke.

      Like

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Pat Benatar, hit me with your best shot.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: