Today we reprise the Keas Stress Survey.  If laughter is the best medicine, an excellent way to reduce stress is to read this survey, using our handy guide below.  Funnier still, we asked Keas all these questions below many months ago, and not only did they not answer them for us, but they didn’t even bother to correct these mistakes on their own website despite all the violations of rules of simple arithmetic. And as we have pointed out on many occasions, rules of arithmetic are strictly enforced.

You write that 41% of employees are reporting above-average stress. Shouldn’t that mean another 41% are also below average in stress? We can’t seem to find any mention of even a single employee being below average in your survey.

ANS: Refused to answer

Of those 41% reporting above average stress, you say:

So 24% of 40% of 41% are losing sleep due to work?  Isn’t that 4%?  So 96% of employees are not losing sleep due to work.  Isn’t this a good thing?

ANS:  We didn’t even bother to ask

You say 72% of women experience above-average levels of stress while only 28% of men do. Since women comprise nearly half the workforce, shouldn’t those two figures weight-average out to nearly 50% rather than 41%, assuming you sampled correctly?

ANS: Refused to answer

If indeed only 28% of men report above average levels of stress, doesn’t that imply that 72% of men aren’t unduly stressed and therefore stress reduction for men need not be a corporate priority?

ANS: Refused to answer

You say high stress “causes” many diseases, but every disease you list except depression affects more men than women. Doesn’t this claim that stress causes these diseases contradict your finding that women are three times as stressed as men?

ANS: Refused to answer

You also claim that high stress levels can also “worsen” a “myriad” of conditions? If that were indeed the case and women have three times the stress of men, how is it that women live five years longer than men?

ANS: Refused to answer

You use the words “average” and “normal” with regard to stress as synonyms, but aren’t they often antonyms? While all of us want our kids to be normal, are you aware of anyone who wants their kids to be average?

ANS: Refused to answer

Just like in Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegone, where all the children are above average, is the goal of your anti-stress recommendations to reach a point where everyone’s stress is below average?

ANS: Refused to answer

Should you be advising people to take Vitamin C pills when the Mayo Clinic is advising not taking them? Where is the peer-reviewed major journal evidence that Vitamin C pills reduce stress for people who, like most employed Americans, already get adequate Vitamin C?

ANS: Refused to answer

Can you point us to the objective evidence that says that unhealthy employees can be “fixed,” especially using a stress-reduction program?

ANS: Refused to answer

How much of the additional 36% that “employers at large companies” are paying for healthcare now (vs. five years ago) is due to an increase in medical events in the disease categories that you say are caused by stress? How do you reconcile that statistic with the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality’s (AHRQ) database indicating that inpatient medical event rates in the disease categories you listed have declined over this five-year period?

ANS: Refused to answer

Likewise, how do you reconcile that 36% increase statistic with the AHRQ’s database finding only about 7% of medical spending is due to inpatient events in those categories you say are caused by stress?

ANS: Refused to answer

If companies “where health is actively promoted are three times more productive,” does that mean that a wellness program would allow pilots to fly three times faster? Could class sizes be increased from 20 to 60? Could doctors cure three times as many patients? Could police arrest three times as many criminals? Could customer service recordings could tell us our calls were three times more important to them?

Could Walmart could run its stores with a third as many employees if they were actively told to get into better shape?

ANS: Refused to answer

More importantly, wouldn’t a two-thirds reduction in staff increase stress on the remaining employees, which is exactly what you are trying to avoid?

ANS: Refused to answer